A Letter to My Future Self

(written in the light of a Saigon river, whispered from the steps of a long walk home)

Dear Rachel,

I’m writing to you not because everything is perfect, but because I am learning to stay even when things are messy, even when my heart feels heavy.

Today, I am still figuring things out.

There are parts of me that feel unsure, tired, and confused.

There are questions I cannot answer yet.

There are dreams I hold quietly inside, like seeds not ready to bloom.

But even so

I am still here.

I am still loving you, even when I don’t know how.

I am writing this to remind you:

You were never required to be perfect to deserve your own love.

You were never required to “overcome” everything to be proud of yourself.

You were never required to have a happy ending to have a beautiful story.

If today, you are standing stronger

then I am proud of you.

If today, you are still searching

then I am patient with you.

If today, you have found new dreams

then I celebrate with you.

If today, you are simply breathing, simply living

then that, too, is enough.

I hope you have learned to be the best friend you were always looking for.

I hope you look at yourself with the softest eyes.

And if there are still parts of you healing

I hope you hug them close, not push them away.

Wherever you are, however you feel,

please remember:

I loved you first.

I believed in you when no one else saw.

I walked with you on the lonely nights.

I never left you.

With all the messy, honest, imperfect love in the world,

Rachel, from April 2025